Do you remember when your youth prevailed, and like any young free spirit, you didn't have a care in the world? Then one day your sitting in front of the store....swapping mix tapes with your buddies to see who had the best mix of Metallica, Anthrax, Iron Maidan, and even beaut's like Slick Toxic.... when out of a cloud of smoke, like a dry ice overload at an Alice Cooper concert, a full sized GMC van roars into the store's parking lot.... swinging tree's hang from the rear view mirror by the dozens. You all look up from your Sony Walkman's to see who this fictional creature is....the looming sounds of King Diamond blasts from the shiny land ship like Devil himself is at the wheel!! The door swings open bringing the elevated volume of hate spewing from the factory door speakers acts as entrance music to the pilot who has come from a galaxy far, far away.... His hair is all business on top but the back flows like the mane of a galloping wild stallion. With jeans so tight that even Robert Plant shakes his head. The wife beater he sports, full of stains from the OV Beer that he drinks...at least that's what you assume as 2 cans rolled from the van door when he first opened it. As he strut's past you and your posse with converse high tops untied and tongue’s hanging out over his jean cuff's like a panting dog, he wink's and shoots the finger gun. Followed shortly by a "Hey".
You and your boys are stunned....mouths open, not a sound is made by any of you....
The pilot enters the store....you and your friends scatter off of your bikes like they have explosive's tied to them, all in order to take a better look at this; this masterpiece; this fantasy star cruiser made by General Motors. The top right of the van sports a small dark globe of glass. A matching sphere parallel’s the other side.
But it's her that has your attention.... the woman meant to spend her life within your soul forever… She is an airbrushed beauty of pain splitting proportions. Even the vicious and snarling polar bear that she sits atop won't move you from your spot, in this pop splattered parking lot. She has tamed this wild beast and made it her chariot!! The picture shows this perfect woman propelling forward at a speed barely captured along the side of this steel sculpture, which is still idling between the fading park lines of this ship temporary docking station.
She is in armour, but not like the knights of the Middle Ages... more like futuristic porno armour!! Her ample breast spilling out of her titanium chest plate and her waist wrapped in a leather shirt with brass nail heads surrounding the fringe... upon her head she wears a steel crown as if hand delivered from the God's themselves!!! She is looking right at you, seductive, but cold. She holds a magnificent gleaming Trident above her head, clearly prepared to dismantle any army that dare get in her way. She is the vision of perfection. She is the reason for the next week of your life, you are forced to hold your school binder over the straining front of your "mom bought" Sears denim, as you shuffle from class to class. She is the reason you go through a box of Kleenex in 4 days...and she is the reason you buy a guitar, some drums and a mic! If this airbrushed beauty really exists...it is only through the pure fury of rock, that you will catch the attention of this princess from hell. Only then, will she allow you to commence the mating ritual fuelled by the hypnotic sounds of Rock and Roll!!
The pilot emerges back out the store doors... the chiming of the entrance bells snap you and your crew back to reality. As he enters his vessel, ready to head back to Planet "Fuck Ya"...he flashes the sign... his index and pinkie in perfect unison as the rest of his hand clenches into a white knuckle fist... his parting words echo every time from that day forward, you pick up your tool of rock.... "Horn's Up"!
That...my friends is what Diesel May is made of!!!
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Holy hell! Saw you guys for the first time ever at Albertas Own this past weekend. Sweet effin' show! Excellent cover of Cypress Grove and every other song kicked my ass
Great seeing you at AB's Own...you guys rock! Have converted everyone I know into fans. Will have to check your website for merchandise, didn't have my size at the kiosk. Hope you guys partied out there on Saturday night, didn't see you but we were all shroomed out so...
We'll miss ya this weekend at AB's Own but promise to catch the next one (in Calgary again possibly...?!). Have a great weekend tenting (so jealous...), wish we were there..... Mike & Sheena
Good show guys.
Our set was a lil rougher than usual.
You sounded wicked...awesome Clutch/Danzig Cover.. and Chris you're a great frontman. Got Charisma. Peace Guys!
Hey guys.. hope all is well with ya! Have not been here in a while, my account got hacked and destroyed so I am just rebuilding it again. Hope all is good with you! Take care and have a great day and a kick ass weekend XxX
